The Bull Before the Game – 1987<\/p>\n
Every Saturday morning the boys get together to play soccer in a park in New York City. The players begin arriving, some fortified by coffee to help with their crippling hangovers, and the great events of the world as well as the little events are discussed until enough players show up for the game to begin. The players come from various countries and social strata and educational experiences. As the various sized events are discussed, the players express the perspectives from their various economic, social and educational backgrounds. The bonds between them can have multiple links as the players connect sometimes as men in physical contest, sometimes on intellectual planes, and sometimes in humor. Girlfriends come and go, the players themselves come and go, but the game always goes on. It’s Saturday and it’s time to play soccer!<\/p>\n
THE BULL BEFORE THE GAME<\/strong><\/p>\n by<\/p>\n Cast<\/span><\/p>\n Abdul\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Moroccan<\/p>\n Armando\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Chilean<\/p>\n Francesco\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Italian<\/p>\n Jean\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Senegalese<\/p>\n Julio\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Guatemalan<\/p>\n Nikos\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Greek<\/p>\n Pedro\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Brazilian<\/p>\n Rainer\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 German<\/p>\n Richie\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 American<\/p>\n Sergio\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Peruvian<\/p>\n Tom\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 American<\/p>\n Stage note- Throughout the play, all members are constantly stretching out or kicking a ball when not involved in dialogue.<\/p>\n Scene I<\/span><\/p>\n A park in New York City during the 1980’s. Goal posts and a soccer field. Nikos is stretching out. Enter Jean carrying gym bag. Jean looks around and asks timidly-<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Excuse me sir. Is this where they play soccer?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yes. (Continues stretching and Jean looks around.)<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 What time do they come?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 They’ll be here soon. (Pause) Do you have a ball?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 No.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Somebody should be here with a ball soon.<\/p>\n (Both stretch out.)<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Where are you from?<\/p>\n Ni- Greece.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Ah. A very nice place.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 It’s all right. I like it better here in New York. You can make more money. (He rubs his thumb against his first two finger tips.)<\/p>\n Je- Oh, I see. What is your profession?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I’m a painter.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Oh, I see.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Where are you from, Haiti?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 No, Senegal. In Africa.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Oh. (Nods his head as if uninterested. Pause) Who told you about this game?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Francesco.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Oh yeah. The commie.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Yes. He is a Marxist economist. We have many interesting conversations.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah? I think he’s full of shit.<\/p>\n (Enter Abdul, Pedro and Julio.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Malaka! (Shakes Nikos’ hand.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (To Nikos with one hand around his head.) Hello my friend.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hello you crazy bastard.<\/p>\n (Abdul winks and proceeds to Jean and shakes hands.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Hello my new friend.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Hello. It is very nice to meet you. My name is Jean.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Abdul. Do you want to smoke some hash?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Startled) No thank you. I do not use drugs!<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 But this hash is wonderful. (Big smile, voice almost squeaking with emphasis.) You must try it.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Leave the guy alone you degenerate Ay-rab. How can you guys get high at 11:00 in the morning?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey man! It’s the only way to play.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 That’s why you guys can’t afford a ball. You never work ’cause you’re always high.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 No, you Greek redneck. We get high because we always work.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I hope you work faster than you run.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 When you have skill like the great Pedro, you don’t need speed.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Oh gimme a break.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Pedro thinks he plays like Zico.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 I teach Zico everything. (To Jean.) You know Zico. The best player in the world! From my country, Brazil.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Yes, I have seen him on television. He is very good.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Has been preparing his pipe and now offers it to Pedro.) Here Pedro. Now you will have some talent.<\/p>\n (Pedro, Abdul and Julio smoke hash pipe and cough occasionally. Enter Rich and Sergio.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hey Rich, where’s your ball?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I left it in my car and my girlfriend took it to go play golf.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hey I smell something good! (Joins hash crowd.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Golf! Your girl friend plays golf?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Of course. Everybody’s girl friend plays golf. The first thing I look for in woman. She must look good in plaid Bermuda shorts! Right Abdul?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Even my boy friends must look good in plaid Bermuda shorts.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Christ! You guys get so fucked up every day you can’t tell the difference between men and women.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Who cares as long as they’re wearing plaid Bermuda shorts!<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Nikos would look good in plaid Bermuda shorts.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 You’re too late Pedro. I’m already married.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Puts arms around Nikos’ neck and his head on his shoulder.) Nikos, you never told me.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (Shaking him off and laughing) Get out of here!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Where is everybody? What time is it Ay-rab?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Looks at watch) Hey, my watch is broken!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Now you’ll have to steal another one.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 I wear this watch all the time. Even when I fuck.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Why do you need a watch when you fuck? Do you time yourself? So you know when your 60 seconds are up?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 60 seconds or 16 thrusts, whichever comes first.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Richie only needs one thrust. Just like Rambo Reagan. Gringos are so big, so strong. (Richie is standing with legs firmly planted, hands on hips, looking down at them. Julio, while speaking, grabs one elbow and pats Richie’s belly with other hand. Richie maintains poker face.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 You can’t waste time when you want to control the world.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 You fucking Third Worlders would be lost without Americans around to run things.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Filho de puta! Only Americans say that. Man you guys are blind!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Richie’s right. If it wasn’t for the Americans, the commies would take over everywhere.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Has been taking an interest and suggests tentatively) In point of fact, that perhaps would not be the worst case scenario for the less developed countries. (Everybody stares at Jean. Nikos hits his forehead with his palm and turns away, shaking his head scornfully.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Shit!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Who the hell is this?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Laughs, throws one arm around Jean’s shoulders.) You hear that? We would all be better off without you. (Pointing at Richie.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (To Jean) Where the hell did you come from?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 I am from Senegal. My name is Jean.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 He’s from Africa for Christ’s sake!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (To Jean) I hope you were joking.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 I do not say I am a Marxist. But for these underdeveloped countries it may not be the worst situation.<\/p>\n (Enter Francesco.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Here comes the other commie. (Francesco smiling, shakes Nikos’ hand.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Hello Malaka. (Sees Jean) Hello Jean. How are you?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Shaking hands) Very well thank you. And you?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 I am fine. (Shaking hands all around)<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Come estai Italia?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Va bene. Look at this! Eleven o’clock in the morning and smoking hashish! Have you no shame?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 We assure you Italia, we feel nothing but shame.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Francesco, are you responsible for inviting this other commie? (Pointing at Jean)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Yes everybody. This is Jean. He is very nice and a very good player. But he is not a Marxist. I’m the Marxist. (Everybody laughs) Hey Rich, where’s your ball?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 You see that? When you need something, where does everybody turn? To an American!<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 You gringos have everything because you steal everything from our countries.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hey, this is a good country! If you don’t like it, go back home to Guatemala.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Huevon! I can’t go back to my country. They’ll kill me! The soldiers paid by the fucking gringos.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 I wish we had more gringo money in my country, Peru. Those crazy indios, Sendero Luminoso, how you call it in English, The Shining Path, those motherfuckers man, they’re blowing up everything down there. If we had Rambo…(pretends he is shooting machine gun) bababababababa!<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Excuse me my friend, but guns are not the solution.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yes it is. We will kill them.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 But then you will be left with the same conditions of poverty and misery that created guerrillas in the first place. If the United States sent the equivalent value of aid in the form of agricultural or industrial technology instead of military equipment, the developing countries would be able to make more progress.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 That’s it exactly!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Horseshit! You’d end up in some commie concentration camp.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Que gatinha gostosa! Olha a menina! Look at that girl! (Points left, offstage. Everybody turns and stares at a girl who is walking by.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Nice legs!<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Madonna! Che bella!<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey American girl. Do you want to play soccer?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Do you want to smoke some hash?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 For Christ’s sake! Why don’t you guys knock it off and behave yourselves.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Relax man! We’re just being friendly.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 You probably scared her to death, you dumb spic. Especially after she saw your ugly face.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Fuck you Malaka! (Chases Nikos, who is laughing. Grabs him from behind and lifts him off the ground. They wrestle a moment and laugh.)<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 What is this “Malaka” that I hear?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 It means masturbator in Greek. (Jean looks shocked.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Jerk off, wanky wank. (Gestures with hand) What we do at night when we think of Big Richie in his tight shorts.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 That’s right. You Ay-rabs and spics worship me.<\/p>\n (Enter Tom carrying ball.)<\/p>\n All- (simultaneously) Hey! All right! A ball! About time! Una pelota! Now we can play!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Tom, where the hell have you been? Even the spics got here before you did!<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi guys. Here’s a present for you. (Tosses ball to someone)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (Rubs his hand on Tom’s bald head.) Now you’ve got two balls, huh baldy!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah, just like a real man.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Shaking Julio’s hand off his head.) Hey come on. I’ve got a wicked hangover.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 You got drunk last night gringo?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Oh man, I was out with Rainer till 6 o’clock this morning. I don’t think he’s going to show up today. He got trashed. Julio’s cousin won’t speak to him.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 That crazy maricon! She wants to get married.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 I think Rainer’s got it bad. The man’s in love.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Gentlemen. A moment of silence for our lost comrade.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Yelling) Come on! What is this shit? Are we going to play or is this a fucking tea party?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah, let’s go!<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Poor Rainer. Nobody has sympathy when it’s time to play soccer.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 All right Francesco. You and Pedro choose up teams.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 How many we are? Uno, dos, tres…nine. Falta uno. We need one more.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 No, we can play 4 against 5 until more people come.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Why don’t we smoke another bowl of hash?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah, give some to Tommy. We have to fix this gringo.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Groans) No, I don’t even want to think about it.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 OK, listen. I’ll take Jean, Nikos and Tom.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What! You’re sticking me with all the lunatics!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I don’t want to play with these commies.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Nobody wants to play with you Malaka. You never pass the ball.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 If I give you the ball you lose it. Besides I don’t dribble as much as Pedro.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 I dribble because that’s what the people want to see. The people want to be entertained. They all come to see the Great Pedro do his tricks.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 All right. We’ll take the Greek redneck and you take Abdul.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 No please. Look, we’re already down one man.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Puts arm around Francesco’s shoulders) Francesco, don’t you love me any more. (Francesco laughs)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 But Abdul, last week you left the defense to smoke some marijuana.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yeah and you didn’t give me any!<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 I’m sorry, but it was just a tiny little roach.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 I don’t want to play with Rambo.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Come on Julio! What’s the matter with you guys?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 I want to play against Rambo. We’re going to beat the gringo.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 No Julio, you’ve got to play over here.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah, shut up you crazy spic. You, me and Richie’ll take on all those slobs.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 OK, this is it. Here comes Armando. (Points offstage) Jean, Tom, Armando, Abdul and myself go down there (Points left) and the rest of you go there. (Points right)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 OK, let’s go. (Exits right with Pedro and Julio. Francesco, Jean and Abdul exit left.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey Sergio, did you see Roma against Liverpool on TV last week?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yes I did. It was beautiful.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Come on Sergio, you asshole. (He drags Sergio off right. Tom exits left.)<\/p>\n SCENE II<\/p>\n Jean is on stage stretching out and running in place. He glances at his watch several times and goes to corner of stage and looks out to see if anyone is coming. Enter Julio smoking the end of a joint. He is carrying soccer shoes.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hello Africa.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Hello Julio. (Julio sits down and changes shoes.) Doesn’t the game start at 11:00?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah, but everybody comes late. Everybody has hangover.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Shocked) Oh, I see. (Pause) I have been waiting for 15 minutes.<\/p>\n (Enter Nikos. Enter Armando and Sergio speaking amongst themselves in Spanish.)<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Puta madre! No me digas!<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Si se\u00f1or. Bien jodido.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Stop talking that damned gibberish.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hey fuck you Malaka!<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Yeah shut up you redneck.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (To Armando) You crazy spic, look what you did to me last week. (Shows lump on shin.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey, it’s beautiful! Such nice colors!<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 That’s because you dribble too much.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Ah! (To Armando) We ought to send you back to Chile so Pinochet can cut your balls off.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hey you think that’s funny, but three of my classmates died in Pinochet’s jails.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 No. Really? Three of your friends?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah man! What do you think? That guys a motherfucker.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 I’m sorry Armando. But sometimes you have to be tough. The communists are always trying to take over.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Bullshit man! We just want freedom. We want the fascists and the military out.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 May I ask a question? (Everybody looks at Jean.) Why do you fear communism so much? It is merely an economic system which attempts to provide for everybody.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Oh come on! You’ve got to be kidding. You ever hear of Siberia? What do you think that is? Vacationland?<\/p>\n (Enter Abdul and Rainer, who is dressed very punk with punk sun glasses. They are passing a hash pipe.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (With a big smile) Good morning my friends.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hi Ayrab. Where’d you find the Nazi commie?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 I had to drag him out of bed. His roommate said he came in at 5 in the morning, stinking drunk and speaking in Spanish. Then he smashed all the plates in the kitchen. (Rainer does not acknowledge anyone. He maintains poker face with sunglasses while putting on soccer shoes.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (Wagging finger at Rainer) I told you man. She wants to get married. She’s not American girl.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Yeah, Catholic girls. They break your balls.<\/p>\n (Enter Tom. He is very animated.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi guys!<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey gringo.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hello Tom.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 I went to an amazing concert last night. This group of Indians playing this wonderful music from Bolivia. It was like a mystical experience. You guys from South America must get to hear this indigenous music all the time, huh, Sergio?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 What do I look like, a fucking Indian?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey come on. I bet you guys have grown up with some real wild stuff. The music you heard every day on the streets in your countries must have been really exotic. Julio, what was your favorite kind of music in Guatemala?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 John Lennon man. I always liked John Lennon.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I liked Pink Floyd!<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 All this rock is too hard on the ears. I only listen to jazz.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hell! It’s all a lot of bullshit! Music is just a bunch of goddamn sounds. You guys are full of shit!<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Que pajero!<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Without smiling or looking up) Nikos has brought ignorance to a new zenith.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (Comes up behind Rainer who is still sitting, putting on his shoes, and puts his hands on his neck as if to strangle him.) Go back to dreamland, Kraut.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Violently shaking him off) Get away from me idiot! (angrily)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Ooh. The Kaiser is touchy today.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 I told you man. That girl wants to get married.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Watch out. Rainer’s going to break someone’s leg today.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Why should today be different?<\/p>\n (Rainer ignores them)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Come on Sergio. Tell me the truth. Didn’t you hear a lot of Inca music in Peru? It must have been fascinating.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hell no. I don’t listen to that crazy shit.<\/p>\n (Enter Pedro)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Pedro.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey cara.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hey Pedro, did you hear that Brazil lost to Argentina?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I can’t believe it. They are too old. I called my brother in Rio this morning and he told me his neighbor tried to shoot himself with a gun, but he was crying so much that he missed and hit his grandmother in the ass.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Oh shit! (everyone is laughing except Rainer who ignores them)<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Guess what my friends. The great Pedro is going to get married!<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Congratulations!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Come on. What girl would marry you?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 She must be crazy.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 I don’t believe it. Pedro, the great ladies man, is in love.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Love, bullshit! Pedro wants a green card.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 That’s right. I’m going to become an American.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hijo de puta! Another gringo.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 How much do you have to pay?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 One thousand dollars.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 That’s cheap.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 She is nice. She wants to help me.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 How much does it usually cost?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Usually two thousand.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Wow! How long do you have to be married?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Two years.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 That’s amazing.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 A lot of people do that.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah. Everybody wants to live in this beautiful country.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah because there’s no work in your country. So you come here and bitch about this country all the time.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Economic development is difficult when the United States supports military dictators and then gets rich while we are paying back our loans.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Horseshit! The only way to develop is to get off your ass and go to work. All you lazy bastards know how to do is take a siesta. And don’t give me this crap about capitalism. The only reason capitalism doesn’t work is because people are lazy and don’t want to work.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 There is no work because there are no jobs. There are no jobs because all the money is going to American banks.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Well who asked you to take out those loans that you can’t pay back?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 The military buys weapons that we don’t need from American companies and the people are the ones who pay because they get stuck with no jobs.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 In point of fact, much of the foreign aid from the industrialized world has been self-serving more than helpful.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Oh come on! What are you talking about? The Americans go out of their way to help you and this is the gratitude you have?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 They give tractors to farmers that can not afford petrol. Fertilizer from American chemical companies which requires irrigation that neither the farmers nor the land can afford. They send us food because the best land is used for cash crops for export to industrialized countries instead of for food crops to feed the people. The colonial powers took the best from our countries and now make us pay back loans while we try to develop with whatever we have left.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Tell him Jean!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Well you don’t expect them to help you for nothing, do you? Everybody wants a free ride.<\/p>\n (Enter Richie with ball under arm)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Rambo, we’re waiting for you.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Swaggering with bluff self importance) OK you guys. I had some business to take care of with my girlfriend, but now the star is here. The game can begin.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Just give us the ball. We don’t need you.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes. Go home and do some more business with your girlfriend.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Guess what, Richie. Pedro’s going to become a legal resident here.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What! What are they doing, letting in subhumans now?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 And after three years, I’ll become a citizen.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 No way! There’s got to be a mistake. We don’t want you here. Go back to Brazil. We’ve got to deport this guy quick. We’ve got too many of you damn Third Worlders fucking up the country as it is!<\/p>\n (Sees Rainer ignoring everybody, goes up to him and grabs one cheek with one hand and pats the other cheek with his other hand.)<\/p>\n Hey Rainer kid! How’s the lover boy?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Exploding into a furious rage, pushing Richie away.) Get out of here you fool! You are a typical, stupid, arrogant American! You are always telling the rest of the world what to do. You always think you know what is best for everybody else. You have all these people from other countries living here in your country and you don’t even know anything about them. You manipulate all their countries and you don’t know anything about them. All you know is this myopic vision of the world as seen by Americans.<\/p>\n (Rainer turns away fuming. Richie is standing with mouth open, stunned.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What’d I say?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Catholic girls, man.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Piss off!<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Rainer, tranquilo man! We’re your friends here man.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Leave him alone. He can work off his aggression in the game.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 That’s what I’m afraid of. He’s going to kill somebody. Julio, you’ve got to talk to your cousin.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 What am I supposed to do? Her mind was fucked up by the nuns.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Fucking nuns!<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hey! Don’t talk like that.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Shit Sergio. Don’t you ever think about anything?<\/p>\n (Enter Francesco)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Buon giorno.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Hello my friend. (Hugs Francesco with a big smile. Francesco winces and shakes Julio’s hand.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hello Italia.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 This is what I love. The game hasn’t even started yet and we already have an argument. What a hopeless group.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 If you really want an argument, go say hello to the Kaiser.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Walking over to Rainer, who is lying down, face up.) Why? What is the matter with you, Rainer?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Without looking up, very firmly.) Go away! (Francesco looks around at everybody with hands held out and shoulders hunched, looking for an explanation.)<\/p>\n Ju and Ar-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (In unison) Catholic girls!<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Nods) I understand immediately. (Sees Jean) Hi Jean.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Hello Francesco. (They shake hands.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Come on. Let’s start the game.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Let’s wait for some more people.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 No. Fuck ’em. Let’s get going.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Nikos, you and Richie make teams.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 OK, but I want the Kaiser on my team. He’s going to be dangerous today.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 No way. I want Rainer on my team. I’m not going against him, the way he is today.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Forget it. Rainer’s with me period.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Well in that case, I’m on your team too.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 You can’t be on my team you dumb redneck, you’re the captain of the other team. (Everybody laughs at Nikos.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Eh Huevon! What kind of captain are you?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Come on Francesco. Why don’t you pick the other team?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Actually, you know I really wasn’t planning to stay. I was on my way to the library. I have a big exam on Monday.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Oh bullshit Francesco! What is this crap about exams? Your priorities are all fucked up.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah, studying never did anybody any good.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, you know this is the most important thing in life.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Laughs) You’re right. How silly of me to hesitate even for a moment with this ridiculous idea of studying.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Good. Now if you’ve finished wasting our time with your moralizing, will you please pick a team.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (To Richie) I’m playing with you today Rambo. I’m not playing against Rainer.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Me too.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 For Christ’s sake! You can’t all be on the same team.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Pedro, you go on the other team. We don’t want you over here.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Just wait till I get my green card. I’m going to become an American before you.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I already have my citizenship you fucking asshole.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Well in a couple of years I will too.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 You guys are going to dilute the gene pool.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Can we make some teams please boys?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Ay-rab. You got some hashish?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Animated) Yes! Do you want some?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah man. (They huddle together, joined by Sergio. During the following dialogue they light and pass pipe back and forth and then down to Rainer, who lifts his head up to smoke pipe and then lies flat again.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Richie, you take Nikos, Rainer, Julio and Sergio and the next man that comes.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey Abdul. Please do me a favor and don’t dribble in front of our own goal again.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Forget it. Don’t waste your time telling Abdul to do anything logical.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Looking up from pipe.) You have to make the game interesting.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Well I wouldn’t mind winning for a change.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Last week we would have won if you hadn’t missed those two easy goals. Remember those passes I gave you?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Frustrated, dejected, ashamed) Yes. I remember.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 All right. Come on, let’s get started. Francesco, take your team over there. (Points offstage left.) Come on Rainer. Get off your ass!<\/p>\n (Nikos exits right. Francesco, Tom and Pedro exit left. Abdul and Julio take a last puff on pipe. Rainer lies motionless. Abdul exits left. Julio exits right. Richie is standing with hands on hips looking down at Rainer. Sergio looks at Richie and then down at Rainer.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Sergio, try to get Rainer on his feet for Christ’s sake. (Richie exits right. Sergio bends down and helps Rainer stand up.)<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Come on Hermano. Man, I can’t believe you even came to play today.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Standing and staring blankly at the audience, still wearing his sunglasses.) Today is Saturday. And on Saturday you must play soccer!<\/p>\n (They exit right. Curtain.)<\/p>\n SCENE 3<\/p>\n It is cold and raining, overcast and dark. A day when only the diehards will show up. Jean is suited up and doing jumping jacks and running in place to keep warm. Enter Richie with ball.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Hello Jean.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Hello Richie. How are you?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I’m cold and my feet are already soaking wet. I just bought these new shoes last month for 60 bucks and they’re for shit. Even when there’s no mud.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Shakes his head sympathetically.) That is very bad.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 It sucks! And my girlfriend wouldn’t let me wash them off in the bathtub so they were caked in mud for a week and just dried up.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Shakes head again.) Very bad.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Raising voice irritably.) Where the hell are those faggots? They should be here by now. It’s way after 11 o’clock.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Do you think people will come today?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Why not? It’s Saturday isn’t it?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Yes, but the weather is very bad.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What’s that got to do with anything? Today is Saturday and on Saturday we play soccer. (Pause) I look forward all week to soccer on Saturday, so if these guys let me down and don’t show up, I’ll hate their guts! (Pause) It’s the only thing that makes working at the bank all week worth while.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Oh you work in a bank. That must be very interesting.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Half yawning) Yeah, I’m a banker. Corporate finance. It pays the bills. I’d rather be playing soccer. (Sudden change to irritation.) Where the hell are those scumbags?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Here comes Rainer.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Rainer! He’s supposed to be in bed having psychotic nightmares.<\/p>\n (Enter Rainer jogging with punk sunglasses, looking alert and energetic.)<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Hello Rainer.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Hello Kraut.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Very jovial) Good morning!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 You look too happy. How come you’re not home smashing up your apartment? Did Miss Guatemala finally break down and give you a kiss?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Brushing aside his romance with a casual wave of the hand.) No. She is still the same. But life goes on. And now it is time to play soccer and forget everything else.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Yeah. Where are all those other degenerates that you hang out with? Did you talk to them?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Not this morning. But they should be here any minute. I saw Tom and Abdul last night. They both said they were going to play today.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Maybe somebody should have called everybody by telephone.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Naw. We’ve been playing every Saturday for over five years. What do they need, engraved invitations? Real men don’t stay home on account of a little rain. (All three are shivering and wet.)<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes, but with these guys it might be different. (They laugh. Pause.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What time is it now, Jean?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Looks at watch in his bag.) 11:38.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 11:38! Christ! You keep accurate time. You’d make a good German. Better than Rainer here. He’s a fucking commie!<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 I am not a communist, you halfwitted Reaganite! I voted for the Green Party in the last elections because I’m against nuclear power and against nuclear missiles in Germany.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What do you think would stop the Russians from just walking in if it weren’t for American missiles?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Better red than dead.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Oh, come on! Don’t give me that bullshit!<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Probably the worst thing about life in the Soviet Union is having to wait on long lines to buy bread. I certainly prefer that to nuclear holocaust.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Stunned.) I don’t believe my ears. I can’t believe that we send our American boys out to protect thankless bums like you!<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Protect! If the United States and the Soviet Union go to war, Germany will be destroyed first and then probably the rest of the world after. You have strange ideas about protection. Besides, the best protection is economic cooperation. The Soviets need our healthy economy. They can’t afford to take us over.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 You’re crazy Rainer. (Sudden change to irritation.) Where are those sons of bitches!<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes, this is ridiculous.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Not only do I have to stand here in the rain but I have to listen to all this leftist horseshit. (Turning to Jean.) How come you’re so quiet today? You’re usually sticking in your two cents worth in this kind of conversation.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 I agree with Rainer.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 It is better to be alive in the Soviet Union than dead in the United States.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Not for me.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Look! There is Tom.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Naw. That’s just some faggot walking his dog. (Pause) Hey! The dog’s taking a shit on the field! (Yelling offstage) Hey you! Get that fucking mutt off the field! Christ! I can’t believe it.<\/p>\n (Pause. They are shivering.)<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Dejectedly) I don’t think anybody is coming today.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Those bastards! What a bunch of fairies.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Oh by the way. Armando’s having a party. Do you guys want to come?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I can’t. I have to go to dinner with my girlfriend and some people in her office.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 How about you Jean? Do you want to come and drink some beers?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Alarmed) I do not drink alcohol!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Yeah. Don’t hang around with these guys. They’re all perverts.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Laughing) Well you can come anyway. You don’t have to drink beer.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 (Hesitantly) Well, maybe I will come for a little while.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting out of here.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes. Let’s go home.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (As they are all walking off stage together, all shivering.) I can’t believe those bastards let me down and didn’t show up!<\/p>\n (Exit)<\/p>\n SCENE 4<\/p>\n (Jean and Francesco are stretching out.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Did you read that article I gave you?<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Yes. It was very interesting. But I disagree with some of the conclusions.<\/p>\n (Enter Rainer.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Hello Rainer.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Hi Rainer.<\/p>\n (Rainer nods hello and starts stretching out.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Rainer, is it true that you’re in love with Julio’s cousin?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes. I’m afraid so.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 You must have very little in common with her.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 We love each other.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 But you have a graduate degree from film school and she never went to university. You make avant-garde films and she is a secretary. You are an atheist and she is a catholic. You wear old blue jeans, tee shirts and a black leather jacket while she spends 95% of her income on the latest fashions.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 It is possible to be different and still be attracted to one another.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 But she wants to get married. If you just have a physical attraction, that is not a strong foundation for a relationship. You must be able to communicate with each other.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 We talk together all the time. She may not agree with what I say, but she listens and she is interested.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 What do you guys do together?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Nothing special.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Does she like the theater?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 No. She likes grapes.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Grapes!?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes. When we are walking down the street together, she gets excited by fruitstands.<\/p>\n (Enter Abdul.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Hello my friends. (Abdul shakes hands all around with a big mischievous grin on his face. He stops in front of Francesco.) Francesco, did you see Verona beat Milan on TV?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Wincing) Yes. Please don’t remind me. Milan is playing terribly these days.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 That Danish striker for Verona is a monster.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 He is awesome. If we had him in Milan we would be in first place.<\/p>\n (Enter Tom.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Speaking with a musical lilt.) Hello Tommy.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi guys.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Don’t you have a ball Tom?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Pedro took it the other day. He said he’d bring it today.<\/p>\n (Francesco, Rainer and Abdul groan.)<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Bitterly) You can’t trust Pedro with an important assignment like bringing the ball.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I guess it was probably a mistake.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Tommy. Who was that beautiful girl you were with the other night?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 She works in my office.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Mmm. She was very tasty. Maybe you could introduce me.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 I don’t think she wants to be devoured, Abdul. She’s very professional.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes, but underneath she’s still a woman.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Well, I don’t think she’s your type.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Anything Abdul can get his hands on is his type.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Puts arm around Tom’s shoulder, cajoling. Tom tries to wind away from him.) Come on Tommy. Give me her phone number.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 No way. Forget it.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Maybe Tom wants her for himself, Abdul. Don’t be so selfish.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 No. This woman is wasted on Tom.<\/p>\n (Enter Julio and Pedro, passing a joint back and forth. Julio is drinking a beer.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 My god! You guys are incredible. Don’t you ever stop?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Last night I got drunk, so I need a beer to get out of bed.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Outraged) Pedro! Where’s my ball?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Nonchalant) Oh, I lost it.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Stunned) You lost it!!<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 How totally unlike you, Pedro.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 How could you lose it, you moron! (Pedro shrugs and takes another toke.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 We need a ball.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Richie has a ball.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (Goes over to Rainer. They shake hands. Julio gives him the joint.) Toma Hermano. (Rainer smokes.)<\/p>\n (Enter Nikos.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hello men.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Malaka.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Doesn’t anybody have a ball?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 No. Pedro lost mine.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (Sneers at Pedro.) You stupid scumbag. A real American wouldn’t do such a dumb thing.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yeah? Well I have an announcement to make. The great Pedro has set a date to go downtown and get married. On the 25th we sign the papers. Then I will be an American just like Nikos.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (Laughs) Another Gringo.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 The 25th! That’s next week. Do you have enough time to get ready?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah. Pedro needs two weeks just to learn how to sign his name on the dotted line.<\/p>\n (Enter Richie.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Hi guys.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Richie, where’s your ball?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I left it in my car. Tom’s ball is better.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Pedro lost my ball.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Tom was naive enough to let Pedro take it.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Tom, how could you give your ball to this Brazilian halfwit? (Takes car keys out of pocket.) Here, Pedro, go get my ball from my car.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 No way.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Turns to Nikos.) Come on, Nikos, you go get it then.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Fuck you!<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Go get it yourself, Rambo.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 I will go.<\/p>\n (Everybody protests.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 No, Jean.\u00a0 Stay here.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Are you crazy?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Don’t let Richie take advantage of you.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 I really don’t mind.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Gives car keys to Jean.) It’s a blue Volvo parked by the entrance.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (Grabs keys and puts them back in Richie’s hand.) Come on, Rambo. Go yourself.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Oh all right. I’ll take the responsibility on myself. In times of trouble, you know who you can always count on.<\/p>\n (Enter Armando with ball. He is limping slightly.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hey, here’s a ball!<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 What’s the matter with your leg, Armando?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Francesco kicked me last week.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Puts arm around Armando’s shoulder.) I’m sorry Armando. But you would have scored a goal if I hadn’t butchered you. You know you would have done the same thing yourself.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 (Laughs) That’s true.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Armando, you’re starting to get fat.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 (Pats his belly.) Yes. I have to cut down on the beer. By the way, Abdul. My wife’s brother is going to work in Morocco for six months.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Animated) How wonderful! He’s going to love it. Morocco is a beautiful country.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 You know I went to Morocco a couple of years ago, and I had the worst time of my life. Every time you walk down the street, people hassle you. They want to sell you something, they want to be your guide, or they just want money. But they never leave you alone.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Tommy, it’s called poverty. These people don’t have jobs and they don’t have money. When they see you, they know you have more money in your pocket then they earn in a month.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, but I’m not bothering anybody. I just want to look around and learn about their culture.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 But Tom, you are not walking through the zoo. These are people living their day to day lives, trying to survive. They are not living in old houses with no plumbing so that you can come and photograph them. They have no choice. There is high unemployment and few jobs. You can’t blame these people if they get sick of tourists. By the way, what’s her number?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 What?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 The girl in your office.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Forget it Abdul. I’m not giving it to you.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 I have a suggestion. Let’s start the game.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Come on Tom. I’ll fix you up with one of Julio’s cousins.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 That’s just what I need.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Armando, come on. Pick somebody. Let’s make some teams.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 OK. I’ll take Francesco.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Shit! OK, I’ve got Jean. Come over here Jean. You may be a commie, but you’re a damn good player.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I’ll take Julio.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 OK. I’ve got Rainer.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Abdul.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Who’s left? Malaka, you play with us.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I’ve got Tom.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Christ! We get stuck with Pedro.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Richie, you asshole, why didn’t you take Tom? He plays great defense. All Pedro does is dribble.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Yeah, you’re right. I fucked up. Come on, Pedro. We’re stuck with you. But try to play a little defense today.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Fuck all you guys!<\/p>\n (Enter Sergio.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Wait a minute. We’ve got Sergio. You take Pedro.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 No. Too late. You get the next man.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Throws up arms in disgust.) Goddamn it!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 You’ve got to move your lazy ass today, Pedro.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes, try to surprise us.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Flicks one hand in vexation.) Filho da puta! Eat shit!<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 That’s it, Pedro! Don’t take any shit! Stand up for your right to be a terrible soccer player.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Come on. Let’s go. My team over here. (Exits right with Julio, Abdul and Sergio. Richie exits left with Jean, Pedro, Nikos and Rainer.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 By the way, Tom. Friday is Jean’s birthday. Do you think we can organize some kind of party for him? I think he’d like to be accepted as part of the group.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Animated) Sure! We’ll have a surprise party. You arrange to bring him to my house and everybody will be there. Or at least everybody except Richie and Nikos. They hardly ever party with us. But I’m sure everybody else will come. They all like Jean. He’s such a nice, polite guy. Julio has to get permission from his wife, but that’s no problem.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 That would be wonderful. He would be very happy. He doesn’t know anyone here in New York.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Well, we’ll take care of him. We’ll get him drunk and Abdul will get him high and we’ll call up some girls. Maybe we can hook him up with a nice lady.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 I don’t know. He is very shy. But he will like it anyway.<\/p>\n (Enter Armando.)<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Are you guys going to play today?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, we’re coming. (All exit right.)<\/p>\n SCENE 5<\/p>\n (Abdul and Sergio are putting on their shoes and stretching out.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 That was a good party last night.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yeah man, great.<\/p>\n (Pause)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 How long have you been here in the United States, Sergio?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Eight years.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Are you planning to stay here?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yes. I like Peru, but I have a good job here and the money is good.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Where do you work?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 I’m a bank teller.<\/p>\n (Pause)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes. It’s a good country here, America. You can work. You can make money. You can do whatever you want to do.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yes. I like it. But I want my kids to know about their heritage. I want them to know Peru and speak Spanish. My oldest kid, Gustavo, only wants to speak English. I talk to him in Spanish and he answers me in English. When we went to Peru last year he hated it. All he wanted to do was play baseball and talk about the Mets. Sometimes I get pissed off at him.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes, I can understand. I want to live here, but I will never forget Morocco.<\/p>\n (Enter Armando.)<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Buenos dias.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Hello Armando. We are talking about our countries. Do you miss Chile?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Of course I miss Chile. It’s my country. But I can’t go back until they change the government. I would be arrested there now.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Why?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I was a student political leader in my university. I went to Argentina three days before they arrested all my friends. The police came to my house at 2:00 o’clock in the morning. I was studying for my doctorate in math and now I drive a cab. And this country supports that government, but they would never let that kind of thing happen here. (Pause) By the way, that was fun last night. (Laughing) And we got Jean really drunk.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yeah man. He couldn’t even stand up.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Did you know he even smoked some hashish?<\/p>\n (Enter Julio and Tom.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Buenos dias Hermanos.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Buenos dias.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi guys.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 (Puts hand on Julio’s shoulder.) Julio, did you sleep on the floor all night? (Julio is wincing, but laughing.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, he was passed out cold. I tried to wake him up after everybody had left, but it was impossible. Finally I just threw a blanket over him and left him there.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Too much tequila. And my wife is angry. She thinks I was with another woman.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Let’s not be ridiculous. (Everybody laughs at Julio’s expense.) Speaking of woman. (Slight pause.) Tommy…<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Puzzled, but suspicious) What, Abdul?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 When are you going to give me the phone number of that ravishing friend of yours?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Abdul, forget it! I’m never going to give you her number.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 You didn’t even bring her to the party last night.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 I called her, but she was busy.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 What do you mean, she was busy.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 She was busy.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 She went out with another man?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Squirming) I don’t know. What she does is her business.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Do you really like her, Tom?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I like her. But we’re just friends.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Disappointed in Tom.) Oh Tom. You are never going to get anywhere with her. You can either be her friend or her lover. Why don’t you just give me her phone number.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Bullshit Abdul! We communicate and relate with each other very well. That’s very important.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 But you don’t fuck. That is also very important.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Jesus Abdul. Give me a break.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 What’s the matter gringo? Ay-rab’s breaking your balls today?<\/p>\n (Enter Richie with ball. Swaggers in with smirk.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Hello you degenerates. Did you have a good party last night? Did you all fry your little Third World brains with lots of drugs?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Jesus, what an asshole! (Everyone is groaning except for Richie who is grinning.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Except for Tom. Tom doesn’t have a brain. He’s been brainwashed by the liberal fags. Hey, where’s the nigger commie?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Shocked) Come on Richie! Don’t talk like that!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Why not? Have you got a guilt complex? We make fun of everyone else, so why spare him?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 It’s different. Besides he may not know that you’re just kidding around.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Oh bullshit. He’ll learn. Besides, you want to make him feel like part of the gang don’t you. That means you have to treat him like shit like everybody else. (Everybody has been listening guardedly to Richie, who is enjoying himself immensely, but now everyone laughs.)<\/p>\n (Enter Jean and Francesco.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Without missing a beat.) Jean buddy! Happy Birthday! (Jean is grinning shyly, obviously pleased but still polite and reserved. Everybody claps him on the shoulder.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Africa! How you feel this morning?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 You were drunk last night.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yeah man. You were fucked up!<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 But you loved it didn’t you.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi ya Jean.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Yes, yes. Thank you very much. Last night I enjoyed myself. But today I am very tired. I need some aspirin.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 You should have a beer.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Hell, you’ll sweat it out in the game. I told you not to hang out with these degenerates.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Actually everybody was very nice to me. I will remember this birthday.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Yes. We took good care of him. We made sure he got drunk. You should have come Richie.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah Rambo. Where were you last night?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I had to go out with my girlfriend and some guys from the office. We went to Ramon’s Cafe.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 So Richie, you went out to a fancy restaurant with some yuppies instead of coming to a party with your soccer friends.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Yes, shame on you. And Ramon’s Cafe does not even have good food.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 It’s bad enough I have to associate with you guys when we play soccer, but I wouldn’t be caught dead with you otherwise.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Richie, you know we are your best friends. We are the only ones who know what a jerk you really are.<\/p>\n (Julio turns his back to the audience as if he is going to pee.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Julio! What are you doing?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 I’m taking a piss, man. What do you think?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Grabs Julio by one arm.) Well, do it on the side.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Pushing Julio.) Yeah, get off the field you pig. (Tom and Richie push Julio off the stage with Julio protesting and laughing.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Come on man. What’s wrong with you guys?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 I don’t want to go sliding in your urine.<\/p>\n (Enter Nikos carrying cigars.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Hello Malaka.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hi Redneck.<\/p>\n (Nikos hands out cigars to everyone. He is in a very good mood.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hello boys.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What’s with the cigars?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 My wife’s pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 That’s great Nikos. Who is the father?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Very funny Ay-rab. We just found out this morning. We had to go to the doctor. My wife was in the doctor’s office by herself for a really long time and I was starting to get worried. I thought I was going to miss the game.<\/p>\n (Reenter Julio.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Malaka.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Have a cigar Julio. I’m going to be a father.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Oh no. Another gringo.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I can’t believe it. How did you manage to put the right thing in the right place? I didn’t think you had it in you.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Yeah, we’re all very impressed, Nikos.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Gives Nikos a big hug.) Congratulations Nikos. I’m sure you will have a wonderful child. And if it is a little boy I’m sure he will grow up to be a rotten soccer player just like his father.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Thank you, Francesco. That was beautiful.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Tom, isn’t it against the constitution to give birth if you have a single digit IQ?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Laughs) Congratulations Malaka. (They shake hands.)<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 (Claps Nikos on the shoulder.) Congratulations. Your first kid, right?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yes, the first one.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Nikos, I’m sure any kid of yours is going to be uglier than sin, but congratulations anyway. (He shakes Nikos’ hand.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Thank you Richie. I’m really touched. You guys are the greatest.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 That’s true. We are the fucking greatest.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 For once, Richie, I agree with you. We are the greatest.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Wait a minute. What am I saying? You guys are Third World scum. I’m the greatest.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I knew there had to be something wrong if I was agreeing with Richie.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah. I take it back. Richie, you’re a disgrace to us fellow Americans. The rest of you guys are the greatest. (Looks offstage.) And speaking of fellow Americans, Here comes Pedro.<\/p>\n (Enter Pedro. He is subdued, depressed.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey Pedro. Where were you last night?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 I was busy.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Were you out on your honeymoon?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Not exactly.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 You missed a good party.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Oh yeah. Happy birthday, Jean.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Thank you very much Pedro. I am sorry you could not come.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah. I had some problems. (Looks strained.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (Puts arm around Pedro’s shoulder.) Come on asshole. What’s the matter?<\/p>\n (Pause. Pedro is struggling with himself, very upset.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Is something wrong Pedro?<\/p>\n (Pause)<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Trying to control himself and appear cheerful.) Actually I came to say good bye. Today is my last game.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Oh Christ! I thought it was going to be bad news!<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 What do you mean, your last game? Don’t you like us any more?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 At last. We’ve been trying to get rid of you for years.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 What do you mean, you came to say good bye, Pedro?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Trying to mask his disappointment.) I’m going back to Brazil on Wednesday.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Why are you going back to Brazil all of a sudden? You just got married so you could get a green card and live here permanently.<\/p>\n Je-\u00a0 Is a member of your family ill?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 No. Nobody’s sick. I’m just going to go back to Brazil. It’s better this way.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Pedro, this doesn’t make sense. You always said you wanted to live in the United States. You’ve been here five years illegally and finally you get an opportunity to become a legal resident and you decide to go home. Ma, che cosa fai? (Makes Italian gesture of putting both hands together in front of him with fingertips together, pointing upwards.)<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Weren’t you going to the immigrations interview when I saw you yesterday?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 What happened, Pedro? Did they find out you weren’t really married?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Strained but wearing the mask.) Well, I had some problems there. But you know I haven’t seen my family in five years. It will be good to see them.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 What is this bullshit about your family, Pedro? I’ve never heard you talk about them before.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 I came here by myself when I was 19 years old. I haven’t seen anyone in my family since.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I understand about missing your family. I miss my father and mother.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 A lot of us miss our families. Before I got my green card I didn’t see my family for four years. But why all of a sudden, Pedro? What happened?<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 What happened at the immigrations hearings?<\/p>\n (Pause)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 They found out you weren’t really married, didn’t they?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Pause, embarrassed, looking down) Yes. They found out.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hijo de puta! The immigrations are mother fuckers!<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 I don’t understand. What’s going on?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 They interview you to see if you’re really married. They’re really tough.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Yes. They ask you very personal questions in great detail.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes. Even what kind of toothpaste does your wife use.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 If you both give different answers they throw you out, right Pedro?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Bitterly) Shit!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 So Pedro fucked up his interview, huh?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Come on Pedro, tell us. You fucked up didn’t you?<\/p>\n (Pause. Pedro nods his head ruefully.)<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Softly) Yeah man. I fucked up.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Jesus! Typical! You dumb Malaka.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Fuck you!<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Didn’t you meet with your wife and learn the facts about her life?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yes. We met for an hour before the interview.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (Explodes in laughter.) Que Huevon!<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 (Shaking his head in disbelief.) Oye, Pajero. What’s wrong with you man? You know you needed more than one hour. Those motherfuckers are sharp. If you don’t know your shit, they’re going to catch you for sure.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Sympathetically) Oh Pedro. I can’t believe it.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (He and Nikos are laughing.) Way to go, Pedro kid!<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Defensively) I was working a lot in the restaurant. I didn’t have much time to talk with her.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Bullshit! When something is important, you make time. You have to get your shit together, man.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 What did they ask you?<\/p>\n (Pause. Pedro is squirming.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Come on Pedro.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 They didn’t ask me anything.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 What? Pedro, you don’t make any sense.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 We’ve known that for years.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Didn’t you go to the interview?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I went there.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 So what happened, man?<\/p>\n (Pause)<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Very embarrassed) Well, because I didn’t have much time to talk with my wife, I wrote everything down on a small piece of paper. But when I went into the room for the interview, I dropped it and the immigrations officer picked it up and read it. (Everybody except Tom and Jean howl with laughter.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 That’s our Pedro.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 (Nodding his head ruefully.) Yeah. Very funny.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Incredible! Only Pedro would do such a thing.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 So now they’re going to deport you?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yes. Now I have to go back to Brazil.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Still laughing, puts his arm around Pedro.) Pedro, we’re going to miss you.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 You know Pedro, This just goes to show you. You’re not good enough to be an American like me. You deserve to be a Third Worlder. You’re a fuckin’ loser. Americans are winners. (Pedro nods his head ruefully.)<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Yeah, just look at Nikos. You can tell he’s a winner.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 No more dreams of being a gringo. No more good job with Yankee dollars. No more green stuff.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, in Brazil there is no money. There it will take me six months to earn what I make here in a week.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 So what are you going to do there?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 I have some money saved up. Maybe I will visit my family for a while and then try to come back here. Or if they don’t let me back in, maybe I’ll go to England or France.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 What about all your stuff?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 I have to sell it. Anybody want to buy my stereo and TV cheap?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 How much for the stereo?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 $150.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Make it $100.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Come on Sergio. I’m already losing a lot of money.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Pedro, how could you be such a jerk as to drop that piece of paper right in front of the immigrations officer? (Pedro shrugs his shoulders.)<\/p>\n (Enter Rainer.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Hello Rainer.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Hermano, say good bye to Pedro. He’s getting deported.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Shakes head sympathetically.) Tough luck Pedro. They found out you weren’t really married?<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes, well maybe I go back to Germany too.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Why Rainer?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Well, I think it’s time for a change. And my relationship isn’t working out.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 I told you, man. You shouldn’t have gotten so involved with her. But that doesn’t mean you have to go back to Germany.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 I need a change. I have to preserve what’s left of my sanity. Last night, after I walked her home, your cousin told me I was crazy. I said of course I’m crazy. She is making me crazy. Then she got very petulant and angry. I can’t stand it anymore. It’s better if I go back to Germany for a while.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 What the hell’s going on here? Rainer, you can’t leave! Who’s going to play defense with Tom?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah Rainer. Besides, you’re my drinking buddy.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 When are you going to leave?<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Oh not immediately. In a few weeks.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Come on. Let’s start the game before somebody else decides to go home.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I’m going back to Brooklyn.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Yeah. Stay there! Let’s make some teams.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 That’s right. What are we here for anyway?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Yes. It’s time to play soccer. I’ll take Jean and Armando. Richie, you take Julio and Nikos.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Pedro, since this is your last game, you go play defense on the other team.<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 Bullshit. The Great Pedro is going to have one last glorious game and score ten goals before he retires.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 That will give you a career total of ten. (Pedro puts one foot in front of Nikos’ ankle and pushes with one hand behind his shoulder, tripping Nikos, who hops away laughing.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 OK. I will take Pedro and you take Rainer and Sergio.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Pointing offstage.) There’s that Irish guy that played with us last week. (Shouting offstage.) Hey! Do you want to play?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Excellent! He is a very good player.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Not bad for a Mick.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 When did Greece ever win the World Cup?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Eat shit motherfucker!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 All right, let’s go. My team over here. (Exits right with Julio and Nikos.)<\/p>\n P-\u00a0\u00a0 What team am I on?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 We’ll write it down on a piece of paper for you. (Exits left with Francesco and Jean.)<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Pedro, you’re with them. (Exits right with Sergio. Pedro turns his back to the audience and poses as if urinating.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (From offstage) Pedro you jackass! Get off the field if you want to take a leak!<\/p>\n (Curtain)<\/p>\n SCENE 6<\/p>\n (Nikos and Tom are stretching out. A ball is lying on the ground.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 You must be excited about becoming a father.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yeah. It’s great. You should get married and settle down.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Oh I’m not ready yet. I’m going to wait a few more years.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 What do you want to wait for? You’ve got a good job working with those computers. You have a couple of kids and you teach them all how to use computers.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Well, maybe someday.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I’m going to teach my kid. You’d better believe it. As soon as he’s five years old I’m going to give him his first paint brush, and he can’t watch TV until he can paint a straight line.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 You’re going to teach him to be another painter?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Fuckin’ A! When he gets big enough he’s going to come work with his old man. And someday, when I’m ready to slow down, he can take over the business.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 What if he doesn’t want to be a painter?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 What? Are you kidding me? What’s wrong with being a painter? You learn a profession and you and you can make some money and take care of yourself.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 What if he wants to be a ballet dancer?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Shit! No kid of mine’s going to be a faggot ballet dancer! I didn’t come to this country and slave every day like a dog to bring up a kid who can’t work.<\/p>\n (Enter Armando. He is drinking a bottle of wine.)<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hello Malaka. Hi Tom.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi Armando.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (Pointing to the bottle.) Is this your breakfast?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 No, this is lunch. Brandy was for breakfast. I’ve got some relatives visiting, so we’re doing a lot of partying.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Have you seen Sergio or Francesco?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I haven’t seen either one since they had that fight last week.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Man, that was terrible.<\/p>\n (Enter Abdul.)<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Hello my friends.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hello Ay-rab.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Do you think Sergio and Francesco are going to come?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 That was one hell of a fight.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Yeah. Sergio was going crazy.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 So was Francesco. You remember the look on his face?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 I still don’t even know what happened.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I didn’t see it start. Francesco kicked the ball downfield and everybody was watching the ball. Then the next second they’re trying to kill each other.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 But they’ve been friends for years.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Yes, but they both have tempers sometimes. Remember when Francesco and Julio had that fight last year?<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes. It’s just part of the game. These things happen sometimes. Everybody is playing hard and then you get kicked and you get frustrated and angry.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 It fucks up the game. Now this week they might be looking for each other and get into another fight.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Oh, I don’t think so. They’re both nice guys. They’re both civilized.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 I don’t know. It’s hard to tell sometimes when something gets into these hard heads.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Today we must talk to them and make them shake hands and forget it. By the way…Tom…<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 (Slight pause.) No Abdul. No. Give it up. Besides, she told me she only likes intelligent men so you’re definitely not her type.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 She probably also wants a man with a penis, Abdul.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Well, maybe I can borrow yours Nikos. It seems to be functioning well lately.<\/p>\n (Enter Julio.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Colegas.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi Julio.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Hello my friend.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hi Ay-rab. (Sees Armando’s bottle.) Mmm. Vino.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 (Hands Julio the bottle.) Toma, brother. (Julio drinks wine.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 You alcoholics! (Julio gargles some wine and spits it at the feet of Nikos.) What pigs! We should send you with Pedro back to the continent of pickpockets.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hey, if you don’t have a job you have to survive somehow.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 I could go to any country in the Third World and paint houses.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Who’s going to pay you? People with no jobs and no money?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Yeah man. You can go paint all you want, but if you don’t get paid, it doesn’t do you any good. And the governments can’t make many progressive changes because so much of their money goes to gringo banks to pay external debt.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah, the bankers got too greedy.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Oh, it’s all the bankers’ fault now.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 No, not completely. They share some of the blame with our military dictators who borrowed the money and the rich countries like the United States who supported the dictators because they gave them good trade agreements. They should have known they were creating an impossible situation.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Here we go. It’s always the capitalists and the imperialists. What a bunch of bullshit!<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Well, even though we Latin Americans like to complain about imperialism, we practice a kind of imperialism domestically as well. A small minority controls the wealth and the military to protect their wealth. There are a lot of millionaires in Latin America.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Another goddamn commie. You want to take the money away from the people who are successful and give it to the losers who just want to get drunk in the streets.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 You better watch out gringo. If there are no jobs in South America, we’re all going to come to your country.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 No way! I won’t let you in.<\/p>\n (Enter Francesco. There is a tension.)<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Come estai Italia?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Tutto va bene.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi Francesco.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Hello Tom. Hello everybody.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Goes up to Francesco with a grin and takes his arm.) Francesco, did you come today to play or to fight? (Julio and Armando laugh.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Very serious.) God damn it! I was waiting for someone to say something like that. You didn’t waste any time. I tell you, if Sergio kicks me again today I will kill him. (Francesco is very angry. He is working himself up into a rage.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 But what happened last week?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, nobody knows what happened.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 I kicked the ball and the son of a bitch tackled me from behind. Look at this cut on my ankle. (Francesco furiously pulls down sock. Everybody looks and is horrified.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Oh Shit!<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Yeah, that’s a bad one.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 That must have hurt.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Of course. That’s why I’m going to kill him if he touches me again.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Very excited.) Look Tom, first of all, he tackled me from behind. That’s already bad enough. He could have broken my leg. Second, he was too late. The ball was already gone. What was he trying to do? What kind of stupid thing is this?<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 But you’ve been friends for years.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Even more reason why he shouldn’t have done that. And he better watch out today or I’ll break his face! (Francesco brandishes his fist.) If he wants to play like that, I can play like that too.<\/p>\n (Enter Sergio. He looks at the group a little hesitantly. Then he walks in and stands by himself to one side. Francesco turns his back and tensely begins putting on his shoes.)<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hi Sergio.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Hi Tom.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Goes over to Sergio and pulls him to one side.) Sergio, what happened last week?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 I was trying to get the ball and Francesco went crazy.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Did you foul him?<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 (Pause) Yeah. Maybe. I guess. But he didn’t have to punch me. If he does that again, I’m going to kick his ass.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Come on Sergio. This is ridiculous. It’s time to forgive and forget. Maybe today it will be someone else that kicks you. Besides, you’ve been friends for a long time. Why don’t you tell him you’re sorry you kicked him and shake hands. (Pause. Sergio looks off into distance.) Come on Sergio. Don’t be stubborn. (Another pause then Sergio nods his head.)<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 OK. (He goes tentatively over to Francesco who looks up at him. Everybody is watching them.) Francesco, I’m sorry I fouled you. I guess I was kind of late. (Francesco goes to Sergio and hugs him. They hug each other.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Forget it, Sergio. I apologize for hitting you. I just went crazy after you kicked me.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yeah, me too. Maybe it was just too hot. (The tension is broken. Everyone is smiling.)<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 Yeah, sometimes you just get too excited.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 How’s your leg?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 I’ll survive, but please don’t do that again.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Are you sure? You don’t want me to do the other leg too?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 (Laughing) No please.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 That’s it boys. Kiss and make up.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Yes. That was very mature. We’re all very proud of you.<\/p>\n (Enter Richie. He doesn’t have his usual bluff and swagger.)<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Rambo.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Subdued voice) Hi guys.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 What’s the matter with you Rambo? You look tired. Did your yuppie friends get you drunk last night?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 (Subdued but still joking.) No, I got drunk by myself last night.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 Where was your girlfriend?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Studying. (Pause) She’s going to law school in Dallas this fall. So I’ll be all alone. (He is strained but covers up with bravado.) I’ll have to start hanging out with you degenerates.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 You’re going to join us Third Worlders, Rambo?<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Traitor. You should only hang out with Yanks like me and Tom. And even Tom’s not a real Yank. He’s a liberal fag.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Where’s Dallas?<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hey Maric\u00f3n. Don’t you know anything?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 That’s what I love about you guys. When I really need you, you’re there.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Forget about this faggot emotional shit. It’s time to play soccer.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 So Richie, does this mean you’re breaking up with your wonderful girlfriend?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 I don’t know. It’s a long way to Texas. Longer than my penis can stretch.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Shit. You gringos fuck every country in the world, but Rambo can’t fuck Texas.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Actually, I guess it’s more like she’s breaking up with me. It’s hard to understand. We’ve been living together for three years. Now all of a sudden she wants to be a lawyer more than she wants to live with me. So what can you do? (Nikos takes Richie’s hand and Julio puts his arm around Richie’s shoulder. Richie maintains poker face.)<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Don’t worry Richie. You’ll always have us. We love you.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Yeah man. You can always play soccer.<\/p>\n Ab-\u00a0 (Facetiously) Women come and go Richie. The boys you fight with and yell at every week are always here.<\/p>\n Se-\u00a0 Yeah Richie. Don’t cry. We’re with you.<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 That’s right. Women may leave you, but you can never get rid of us.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Unless he breaks your legs.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 (Coyly) We will always be here darling.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Christ! You guys are making me sick. Let’s start the game. Where the hell is Jean?<\/p>\n Fr-\u00a0 He is out of town for a conference. He will be here next week.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Wait a second Richie. Just because your girlfriend wants to go to law school, you’re going to break up.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Well she’s made up her mind that that’s what she wants to do so what am I supposed to do? Tell her not to be a lawyer? She’s got her life to live. She got a good deal at a good university and she wants to go. So that’s it.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 But you spent three years together.<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Yeah, and it was great. But now she’s going to Texas and my job is here in New York.<\/p>\n (Enter Rainer.)<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Good morning.<\/p>\n Ar-\u00a0 Hi Rainer.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Hey Hermano! (They shake hands.)<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 (Talking to Julio.) I got the tickets yesterday. I’m going back to Germany in three weeks.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Jesus Christ man! You’re really going to do it.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 Yes. Your cousin and I broke up officially on Thursday. She’s going to find a nice Catholic man, and I have to regain my sanity.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 I told you, man. Don’t mess with that kind of girl.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 I prefer my lessons the hard way. But there are no hard feelings. She’s a nice person. We just didn’t work out.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Well, I’m going to miss you, Hermano.<\/p>\n Ra-\u00a0 You should come visit me in Germany. I’ll show you around Munich and take you down to the Alps. It’s beautiful there. You’ll really like it. And you can drink some good German beer.<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 Well, you know Hermano, I’m not the travelling type. I’ve got my job and my wife and kid. So I don’t think I’ll ever make it over there. Not enough green stuff.<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Come on, let’s start the game! Rainer, you’re with Armando and Julio, you’re with Francesco.<\/p>\n T-\u00a0\u00a0 Hey, there’s that Irish guy. (Yells offstage) Hey Sean!<\/p>\n Ni-\u00a0 Hey Irish!<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Come on you Mick!<\/p>\n Ju-\u00a0 (To Irishman offstage.) Hey man. You look tired. Did you get drunk last night?<\/p>\n Ri-\u00a0 Come on, let’s go! Let’s start the game!<\/p>\n (Curtain)<\/p>\n -THE END-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Bull Before the Game – 1987 Every Saturday morning the boys get together to play soccer in a park in New York City. The players begin arriving, some fortified by coffee to help with their crippling hangovers, and the great events of the world as well as the little events are discussed until enough […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":266,"featured_media":0,"parent":64,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-114","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/266"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=114"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/114\/revisions\/116"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/64"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}John E. Leahy<\/h1>\n