The Assassin and the Target – 1988<\/p>\n
\n
THE ASSASSIN AND THE TARGET<\/p>\n
by<\/p>\n
John E. Leahy<\/p>\n
I really hate it when you stab somebody and your knife gets covered with goo.\u00a0 It makes me want to puke all over the dead body.\u00a0 I don’t know if you’ve guessed by now but I kill people a lot.\u00a0 I have to.\u00a0 It’s my job.\u00a0 I’m a paid assassin.\u00a0 Besides, somebody’s got to do it.<\/p>\n
I know, you’re saying to yourself, “This guy’s a beast.”\u00a0 But if you just think about it for a moment, if it wasn’t for this, I would probably have to go out and rob people for a living.\u00a0 So really it keeps me off the streets and out of trouble.<\/p>\n
I remember when I was hired to rub out this guy that worked for the Environmental Monitoring Board, some government agency.\u00a0 A real nice guy.\u00a0 I really liked the dude.<\/p>\n
But he was raising a big stink about all the chemicals that this company was dumping, and it became a clean matter of\u00a0 economics.\u00a0 It was a lot easier to pay me than to pay a whopping federal fine.\u00a0 I felt kind of bad but what can you do.\u00a0 I really liked the guy.<\/p>\n
In order to rub him out I had to learn his habits so that I could find a good time and place to do him without getting\u00a0 snagged.\u00a0 By accident I ended up getting to know him.\u00a0 He turned out to be a hell of a guy.\u00a0 I was expecting him to be one of those snobbish intellectual jerks that don’t give you the time of day if you don’t speak fluent Latin, but he was all right.<\/p>\n
I tailed him into this bar one night.\u00a0 Speaking of dumping a load of chemicals.\u00a0 Man, did this guy put down a lot of liquor.\u00a0 Finally he went into the men’s room and just disappeared.\u00a0 I had already ordered a second gingerale \u2011 I never drink on the job.\u00a0\u00a0 That shit just ain’t right\u2011 when I got suspicious.\u00a0 What the hell was going on?\u00a0 I went to the men’s room.\u00a0 I never refer to this as the John because some guys are named John and might get offended by the reference of their name to a toilet.\u00a0 You’ve got to have some consideration and respect.<\/p>\n
Anyway I went to the men’s room to see what the hell was going on with this dude.\u00a0 As I entered I saw him standing at a urinal, leaning with one hand against the wall.\u00a0 I moved over to a neighboring urinal and pretended that I had to pee.\u00a0 He looked like he was unconscious.\u00a0 His eyes were just slits.\u00a0 I turned and looked at him more closely.<\/p>\n
“You ever notice how many guys like to look at other guys’\u00a0 dicks in the men’s room?” he suddenly asked me without turning or opening his eyes.\u00a0 Man was I embarrassed.\u00a0 I wasn’t trying to look at his dick.\u00a0 I was just doing my job.\u00a0 We both continued to stand there at our respective urinals.<\/p>\n
“You ever notice how long it takes to piss sometimes?” he\u00a0 addressed me again.\u00a0 Man he really had me off guard.\u00a0 We were both standing there at urinals but neither one of us was peeing. “I’ve been here 10 minutes already how about you?” he asked.\u00a0 I was really starting to feel uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
“If someone comes in now he’s going to think we’re a couple of fags.” he went on, his eyes still slits.<\/p>\n
No way man.\u00a0 That shit don’t flush.\u00a0 “If anybody calls me a fag, I’ll blow his fucking brains out!” I blurted out and opened my jacket to reveal my revolver.\u00a0 It was a hot tempered moment of rash stupidity.<\/p>\n
“What the hell are you doing with that thing? You could kill somebody with that.”\u00a0 He finally opened his eyes and turned to me.<\/p>\n
I was off guard again.\u00a0 “You never know when you’ve got to dust somebody.” I joked.\u00a0 Perhaps not one of my better efforts.\u00a0 He didn’t seem to mind.\u00a0 Maybe he told dumb jokes himself sometimes.\u00a0 A lot of people do that when they’re feeling loose and relaxed.<\/p>\n
“If you want to kill somebody, just have them drink the\u00a0 water here.\u00a0 It’s a long and painful death.\u00a0 I know because I just inspected the place.”<\/p>\n
“What’s the matter with the water here?” I asked.\u00a0 He really had me interested.\u00a0 Maybe I could save myself some dirty work by bringing my future targets here for a drink.<\/p>\n
“Contaminated rain water has drained out of a poorly sealed toxic chemical dump and seeped into the local groundwater.”\u00a0 He\u00a0 half yawned and shook his dick a little.\u00a0 However nothing came out and he closed his eyes back to slits again.<\/p>\n
I started getting nervous again.\u00a0 I didn’t want anybody coming in and thinking I was some kind of weird jerk.\u00a0 I pushed my stomach out trying to squeeze out at least a respectable couple of drops.\u00a0 I should have been drinking beer.<\/p>\n
The guy shook his head.\u00a0 “You know, maybe I pissed already and then forgot.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, sometimes people do that.\u00a0 Maybe we should get out of here.” I replied.\u00a0 I started to put my dick back in my pants, but he suddenly woke up and looked at me with clear eyes.<\/p>\n
“What about you” he smiled coldly.\u00a0 “Or did you just come in here to show off your gun?”\u00a0 Then he started laughing like hell. I didn’t know if he was calling me a queer or not, but I sure as hell felt uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
“Come on.” he said, putting his dick back in his pants and\u00a0 zipping up.\u00a0 “Let’s go out and have a drink so we can piss again.”\u00a0 Then he slapped me on the shoulder and held the door open as an invitation.<\/p>\n
I passed through the door but he just stood there staring into the men’s room.\u00a0 He had a funny expression on his face like he was watching his kid play baseball.\u00a0 I don’t have any kids personally.\u00a0 I’m concentrating on my career.\u00a0 I’m just another yuppie.<\/p>\n
Without shifting his eyes, he spoke.\u00a0 “A civilization is only as deep as it can flush.”\u00a0 I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.\u00a0 With this guy it seemed like you never knew what would happen next.\u00a0 He must be damn smart.\u00a0 Either that or crazy.\u00a0 He started talking again.<\/p>\n
“The concept of using running water to remove excrement from the place of residence, has to be rated as one of the premier\u00a0 technological advances of society.\u00a0 Perfume on the other hand,\u00a0 multi billion dollar industry that it is, is the idiot’s answer to body toxins.\u00a0 It was very popular in the Dark Ages, between the glorious days of lead plumbing during the Roman Empire and the construction of the Paris sewers under Napoleon III.\u00a0 Instead of washing, Europeans covered their bodies with high priced perfumes from the Orient.”<\/p>\n
I remembered doing the same thing, just spraying myself with deodorant, when I didn’t have time to take a shower.\u00a0 It usually made me smell even worse.\u00a0 “What are you drinking?” he asked me as he put his arm around my shoulder and steered me to the bar.<\/p>\n
He was a big guy and I could feel the muscles of his arms\u00a0 squeezing my shoulders.\u00a0 He was about 35 years old and had a\u00a0 bushy, blond moustache and a playful twinkle in his eyes when they were open.\u00a0 You sort of had the impression that he was looking through you and was kind of amused by what he saw.<\/p>\n
“Gingerale.” I said to the bartender.\u00a0 I waited for the\u00a0 sarcastic comment about my choice of beverage, but he just lit a cigarette and ordered a Leahy’s brown ale.<\/p>\n
“If you’re driving home sober, maybe you could give me a ride.” he said, again taking me by surprise.\u00a0 “That is as long as you drive better than you piss.” He winked at me and started laughing again.\u00a0 He always had me a little off guard.\u00a0 I could feel my heart beating against my gun holster.<\/p>\n
“Sure I’ll give you a ride.” I said.\u00a0 I hadn’t been planning to do him that night, but maybe this would offer the perfect\u00a0 opportunity.\u00a0 To tell the truth though, I wasn’t in the mood.\u00a0 I was feeling a little jumpy.\u00a0 Very unprofessional.\u00a0 I hate sloppy jobs.\u00a0 It’s always better to go in cold and get it done quick and clean.<\/p>\n
“Hey Freddie,” he suddenly called out to the bartender, “This guy’s going to give me a ride home, so let him drink as much gingerale as he wants.”<\/p>\n
The bartender grinned at me.\u00a0 “Yeah, he looks sober.” he said.<\/p>\n
My target laughed again.\u00a0 “Freddie’s an expert.\u00a0 “He looks into your eyes and reads your alcohol meter.”<\/p>\n
Shit!\u00a0 I was marked now.\u00a0 There was no way I could do him tonight after this.\u00a0 Man was this job starting to get messy.<\/p>\n
“You’d better go easy on the soft drinks.” the bartender said to me.\u00a0 “They’re murder on your teeth.”\u00a0 His comment went through me with a shudder.<\/p>\n
“Interesting concept.” my target mused.\u00a0 “It’s easier to\u00a0 recuperate from a hangover than to go to the dentist.” He leaned back and laughed.\u00a0 I didn’t think it was funny at all.\u00a0 He always seemed to know something I didn’t know.\u00a0 Maybe he was full of shit, but I had respect for him.\u00a0 A lot more than I had for the guy that hired me that’s for sure.<\/p>\n
The guy that paid me was a real jerk.\u00a0 The people I work for are always jerks.\u00a0 What kind of person would hire somebody to kill somebody else anyway?\u00a0 I’d rather work for somebody like this guy here.\u00a0 But that type of guy never seems to have enough money.\u00a0 If business gets really good, maybe someday I’ll start offering discounts to concerned citizens groups.<\/p>\n
Anyway, like I said, I didn’t like the guy that hired me.\u00a0\u00a0 He was a real sleazeball.\u00a0 He left me real cold.\u00a0 I didn’t like his attitude at all.\u00a0 He was boiling mad because this guy had done his job better than he had.\u00a0 No appreciation or respect for quality.\u00a0 Then later he threw his candy wrapper in the street.\u00a0\u00a0 It didn’t weigh that much, he could have put it in his pocket.\u00a0 I don’t work hard and pay all my bills to look at some slob’s candy wrapper.\u00a0 If I wanted to look at a candy wrapper, I’d have one framed and hung on my wall.<\/p>\n
My target tapped my elbow.\u00a0 “Do you know what I’m celebrating today?”<\/p>\n
I nodded my head.\u00a0 Anniversary of the invention of toilet paper perhaps?\u00a0 With this guy you didn’t know.\u00a0 He stared at me with his clear eyes and I started feeling nervous again.\u00a0 He grinned and then started laughing.\u00a0 Then he slapped me on the shoulder so hard that I fell half off my stool.\u00a0 Some of my gingerale spilled onto my slacks.\u00a0 Right in my lap!\u00a0 Now people are going to think I peed in my pants.\u00a0 He stopped laughing and fixed me with his clear eyes again.<\/p>\n
“Today, little buddy, I fixed their asses for good.\u00a0 I caught them in their own lies.\u00a0 The lab results of my field work proved what I had been saying all along.\u00a0 The high levels of toxic dethalene could only have seeped out of Hiccup Chemicals storage dump.\u00a0 Now I’ve got the proof that I’ve been looking for for 9 months.\u00a0 And with 7 people already hospitalized with over 45 parts per million of dethalene in their blood, there’s going to be hell to pay.”<\/p>\n
He raised his glass to me and drank.\u00a0 I don’t know a damn thing about chemicals.\u00a0 That’s why I don’t eat organic health foods.\u00a0 If the whole world is just a jumble of chemicals, how am I, a simple assassin, supposed to figure out which ones are good for you and which ones aren’t?\u00a0 What happened to the good old days when a loaf of bread was a loaf of bread?<\/p>\n
I looked over at my target.\u00a0 His eyes were glazed again and he was staring at the row of bottles behind the bar.\u00a0 “You remember when you were a kid and your mother would yell at you to clean up your room after you had played in it?” he asked dreamily without looking up.\u00a0 “This whole damn society needs a mother.” He just sat there staring at the bottles.<\/p>\n
The door opened behind us and two girls in mini skirts and make up came in and sat at the bar next to us.\u00a0 They ordered drinks and sat there looking kind of bored.\u00a0 Finally my target looked up and noticed them.\u00a0 He turned to me with that twinkle in his eyes and said, “Do you like women?”<\/p>\n
I was flustered.\u00a0 “Sure of course.” How could he doubt it?<\/p>\n
“Watch this.” he said and turned again to the girls.\u00a0 Oh Christ!\u00a0 Now what the hell was he up to?\u00a0 The last thing I wanted that night was to get involved with a couple of dizzy chicks.<\/p>\n
“Hi.”\u00a0 He smiled at the girls with that big mischievous grin of his.\u00a0 They sort of nodded like they weren’t too impressed with his style.<\/p>\n
“Allow me to introduce myself.” he said.\u00a0 “I’m sort of a scruffy looking guy with a penis dangling between my legs.\u00a0 It’s kind of short, but sometimes it comes in handy.”\u00a0 He raised up his right hand.\u00a0 “You know what I mean?”\u00a0 Then he started laughing so hard he nearly fell off his stool.<\/p>\n
“How dumb can you get?” said one of the chicks as they turned their backs on him.<\/p>\n
“Man are you nuts?” I asked him.\u00a0 I couldn’t believe it.\u00a0\u00a0 “How are you going to pick up any chicks like that?”<\/p>\n
He put his hand on my shoulder.\u00a0 “What’s the matter?\u00a0 Do you think I made a tactical error?”\u00a0 His voice was quivering with\u00a0 laughter.\u00a0 I stared at him as he laughed into his glass.\u00a0 He might have gotten something going with those chicks if he had just said something normal.\u00a0 He started staring at the bottles behind the bar again.\u00a0 The girls smoked their cigarettes and looked kind of bored.<\/p>\n
Suddenly he turned to me and leaned his face in real close to mine.\u00a0 His eyes were clear again.\u00a0 “What’s your favorite month?”<\/p>\n
“Huh?”<\/p>\n
“I want you to list all the months of the year in the order of your preference, starting with your favorite.”\u00a0 He was jabbing me in the chest with his big finger.<\/p>\n
“You mean what my favorite months are?”<\/p>\n
“Bingo Socrates!”<\/p>\n
Months!\u00a0 What do I know about months?\u00a0 Sometimes it’s raining, sometimes the goddamn sun is shining.\u00a0 One thing for sure.\u00a0 They all have some kind of weather.\u00a0 I thought about it for a minute then I listed them all, 1 through 12.\u00a0 I didn’t miss any of them.\u00a0 Maybe he was giving me some kind of intelligence test.\u00a0 After that I had to list my favorite days of the week and hours of the day.\u00a0 He started to tell me to list my favorite odd numbers when I interrupted him.<\/p>\n
“Wait a minute.” I said.\u00a0 “What are your favorite months?”<\/p>\n
He leaned back and lit a cigarette.\u00a0 Then he looked at me dead in the eye and coolly answered.\u00a0 “I don’t think that’s any of your damn business.”\u00a0 Then he laughed like a maniac.\u00a0 I felt like a jerk.\u00a0 He didn’t give a damn what my favorite month was.<\/p>\n
He stood up and drained the poison in his glass.\u00a0 God, could he put it away.\u00a0 He turned to the girls and bowed.\u00a0 “Good night\u00a0 ladies.”\u00a0 Then he lurched around and turned to me.\u00a0 “How about it Socrates, are you going to give me a ride home?” Why was he\u00a0 calling me that?<\/p>\n
He held the door open and I was about to pass through when a really gorgeous woman stepped in on the arm of some well dressed heel.\u00a0 When she saw my target, she stopped short for just a moment.\u00a0 If I hadn’t been staring at her I wouldn’t have noticed. Then she smiled at him and said hello while she waved one of those Chinese paper fans.\u00a0 My target took her delicate, little hand in his giant paw and kissed it softly.\u00a0 From where I was standing I could see her bosom rise underneath her black, silk shawl.\u00a0 The man behind her looked like he had just stepped in dogshit.<\/p>\n
“Is this how you derive your hallucinations about chemical\u00a0 pollution?” he asked sourly.\u00a0 My target lurched quickly towards him and he pulled back with fright.\u00a0 However my target merely grabbed his hand and gave him the power handshake.<\/p>\n
“Right on!” he said and started laughing again.\u00a0 Then he went out through the door without even looking back again at the woman.\u00a0 I hurried after him.<\/p>\n
He was laughing in the parking lot.\u00a0 Everything was always so goddamn funny to him.\u00a0 He put his arm around my shoulder and\u00a0 started squeezing me till my back was practically folded in half. “You know who he was?” he asked me.<\/p>\n
“No.” I said.\u00a0 Who the hell cares who that poofball was.\u00a0 Who was that woman?<\/p>\n
“He’s the president of Hiccup Chemicals Inc.\u00a0 He told me over the phone he was going to kick my little environmental ass. Then he met me and changed his mind and threatened to hire someone else for the job.”\u00a0 Then he started laughing again.\u00a0 I didn’t think it was funny.\u00a0 This guy must be the boss of that other creep I didn’t like, the one that contracted me.\u00a0 But why did that woman look at him like that, I wondered.<\/p>\n
“Who was that woman?” I asked.\u00a0 He had stopped in front of a Lincoln Continental.\u00a0 What the hell was he doing now?\u00a0 He had taken out his dick and was pissing on the car.\u00a0 After he finished he just stood there shaking off the last drops and looking like he was in a trance again.\u00a0 I had to get him out of there quick.\u00a0 I didn’t want him to get into any trouble.<\/p>\n
“Come on.\u00a0 Let’s go home.” I said and pushed him away.<\/p>\n
“Goddamn gas guzzler.” he growled as he stumbled and zipped up his pants.<\/p>\n
“Who was that woman?” I asked him again after I got him away from the Lincoln.<\/p>\n
His eyes cleared up again and he looked at me with that sly grin.\u00a0 “That’s his wife.”\u00a0 He paused for a moment as if remembering something pleasant.\u00a0 “We’ve developed sort of an understanding.”\u00a0 He paused again and started laughing.\u00a0 “I’ve had more orgasms just thinking about her than actually being with her.”<\/p>\n
I shook my head.\u00a0 What was I going to do with this guy.\u00a0 He was just standing there laughing his ass off.\u00a0 I had to get him home quick before he got arrested.\u00a0 How would it look for his\u00a0 investigation if he got thrown in jail?<\/p>\n
I started pushing him towards my car.\u00a0 He had one arm around my shoulder and I was sort of half propping him up.\u00a0 All of a sudden he stumbled and spun around in front of me.\u00a0 He almost fell over but at the last second he grabbed onto my holster with his free hand.\u00a0 He steadied himself and then, before I could stop him, he took my pistol out from the holster and started playing around with it.<\/p>\n
“How would you like a few holes in your radiator, gas guzzler?” he growled, menacing the Lincoln.\u00a0 “Hey Socrates!” he shouted merrily.\u00a0 He was pointing the gun at my heart.\u00a0 My blood froze.\u00a0 “What the hell do you carry this damn gun around for?”\u00a0 He went on like it was a big joke and he was having a great time. Suddenly he stopped and his face lit up.\u00a0 He waved the gun at the bar, which was a great relief, but his words struck me like a bullet.\u00a0 “Hey Socrates.\u00a0 I’ll give you 5 bucks if you go in there and polish off that sleazy son of a bitch.\u00a0 You’d be doing me, his wife and the whole world a big favor.”<\/p>\n
He had his arm around my shoulder again and was laughing.\u00a0 I couldn’t move.\u00a0 Five bucks! He put my gun back in my holster and I helped him into the car.<\/p>\n
I followed his instructions and we drove in silence.\u00a0 He looked like he had passed out.\u00a0 Suddenly he sat up and turned towards me.\u00a0 “Hey Socrates, what do you carry that gun for?”\u00a0\u00a0 Christ! I wished he’d just fall asleep.\u00a0 I didn’t say anything.\u00a0 I just kept on driving.<\/p>\n
“Why don’t you throw it out the window?\u00a0 You don’t need that thing.\u00a0 You might hurt yourself with it.”\u00a0 Jesus, he was worried about me getting hurt.\u00a0 “You know a lot of people have accidents with handguns, or they use them rashly in a moment of passion.\u00a0\u00a0 They’re not safe to keep around.\u00a0 More husbands kill wives than\u00a0 burglars.\u00a0 That’s a fact.\u00a0 You can check the FBI statistics.\u00a0 I’d hate to see you get into some kind of foolish trouble.\u00a0 You’re all right Socrates.”\u00a0 He slapped me on the back and I veered into the other lane.\u00a0 Lucky thing it was the middle of the night and there was no traffic.<\/p>\n
I was starting to feel really bad.\u00a0 The guy actually liked me.\u00a0 I was his friend.\u00a0 This gig was turning into a disaster.\u00a0 Maybe I should just give the money back and forget the whole damn thing.\u00a0 I could even write him a note and warn him to watch his ass and disappear for a while.<\/p>\n
I was driving along trying to figure out what to do when a cat jumped out of a bush and ran across the road in front me.\u00a0 I slammed on the brakes just in time, but my target shot forward and banged his head on the dashboard.\u00a0 I pulled over and started patting his bloody head with some Burger King napkins I had left over from lunch.\u00a0 You should never throw away something useful.\u00a0 He just had a little cut on his forehead, but you know how those things bleed.<\/p>\n
He was cursing me out like crazy.\u00a0 “Jesus Christ, Socrates, what the hell are you trying to do, kill me?\u00a0 I thought you were sober.”<\/p>\n
“I am sober.\u00a0 I’m sorry.\u00a0 There was this cat.\u00a0 I’m sorry.”\u00a0 I wished the damn thing would stop bleeding.\u00a0 Finally I ran out of napkins.\u00a0 It was still oozing.\u00a0 The Burger King bag was still in the back seat so I ripped it up and stuck a piece of it on his forehead.\u00a0 It hung down and gave him sort of an eye patch that said “Burger King.”<\/p>\n
“You OK?” I asked.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I’ll live.”<\/p>\n
“I hope so.” I thought to myself.\u00a0 “Hey maybe you should put on your seat belt.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, good idea.\u00a0 Especially if your going to drive like an assassin.”\u00a0 He laughed and the Burger King patch started shaking on his forehead.<\/p>\n
I was feeling sick to my stomach, but I had to get him home, so I started driving again.\u00a0 He was quiet for a couple of minutes.\u00a0 Suddenly he turned around and looked at me with one clear eye and the Burger King patch.<\/p>\n
“Come on Socrates, throw that gun out the window.\u00a0 You know it’s only going to bring trouble.”<\/p>\n
Just throw it out the window.\u00a0 Just like that.\u00a0 It sounded so easy.\u00a0 Then I wouldn’t have to think about it again.\u00a0 I could sleep peacefully for a change. \u00a0Without slowing down, I reached into my holster and pulled out my gun.\u00a0 I was kind of half looking at the gun and half watching the road, trying to make up my mind.<\/p>\n
“Do it.\u00a0 Don’t be scared.” said my target.<\/p>\n
“OK!\u00a0 I’ll do it!” I almost yelled.<\/p>\n
“All right!”\u00a0 My target grinned and put his hand on my shoulder.\u00a0 I squeezed my eyes shut and started to throw the gun out the window.\u00a0 However, I suddenly hit a tremendous pot hole and the car shook with a bang.\u00a0 The gun went flying out of my hand and hit the dashboard.\u00a0 Then it bounced up and hit the Jesus statue on the dashboard.\u00a0 The trigger bumped into the upraised hand of Jesus giving his blessing and the gun went off with a crack.\u00a0 I flung my arm up to protect myself and drove into a bush.<\/p>\n
I looked over at my target.\u00a0 Christ! He looked like he was dead.\u00a0 I grabbed his face.\u00a0 There was blood on my hands and his head rolled lifelessly from side to side.\u00a0 I started choking.\u00a0 I couldn’t breathe.\u00a0 He couldn’t be dead.\u00a0 His head rolled toward the window and banged against the glass.<\/p>\n
Suddenly a light flashed through the windshield.\u00a0 I jumped up and sucked in some air.\u00a0 Some sweat rolled down my forehead.\u00a0 The headlights of a car were coming toward me.\u00a0 I froze.\u00a0 The headlights came closer.\u00a0 I ducked down and pulled my target down on top of me.\u00a0 His head fell down and lay across my back.\u00a0 The car whizzed by.\u00a0 My heart was pounding in my throat.\u00a0 I had to get out of there.<\/p>\n
I tried to lift my head up.\u00a0 His body was slumped over mine and was so heavy I couldn’t push him off.\u00a0 A shock of panic hit me and I started shaking and jerking, trying to get free.\u00a0 I banged my head against the glove compartment and stopped.\u00a0 I caught my breath for a second and then got an idea.\u00a0 I reached out for the door handle and opened the door.\u00a0 His body slumped against the door and slowly slid out.\u00a0 I pushed his legs and feet out and then sat up.<\/p>\n
A gun was pointing at my face.\u00a0 I started to put my hands up when I realized it was my own gun, hanging on the upraised arm of Jesus on the dashboard.\u00a0 I moved to one side and put the gun back in my holster.\u00a0 Then I backed the car out of the bush and took off.<\/p>\n
I decided to lay low for a while, so I went out west and stayed in a motel.\u00a0 It wasn’t real nice, but I just needed a room where I could be by myself and drink.\u00a0 After a couple of weeks I couldn’t drink anymore so I just sat in the room.\u00a0 I almost decided to change my profession, but that would be wasting all my years of experience and training.\u00a0 Nowadays however, I’m more choosy about my customers.\u00a0 I even offer discounts and package deals to concerned citizens groups.\u00a0 It feels good to be able to contribute in my own little way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Assassin and the Target – 1988 THE ASSASSIN AND THE TARGET by John E. Leahy I really hate it when you stab somebody and your knife gets covered with goo.\u00a0 It makes me want to puke all over the dead body.\u00a0 I don’t know if you’ve guessed by now but I kill people a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":266,"featured_media":0,"parent":61,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-120","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/266"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=120"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/120\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":125,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/120\/revisions\/125"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/61"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leahyinstitute.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}